PRIDE: Hellis Hot on growing up queer and drag as art that transcends sexuality

What was it like growing up queer?

I was born into a religious Muslim family and I was raised well. But growing up as a closeted gay kid in that environment was hard. I couldn’t open up about my sexual orientation to anyone. The constant bullying at school made it worse but I didn’t let it get to me because I knew exactly who I was.

How did your family react to you doing drag?

I came out to my family a couple of years ago. My parents live in the country and they’re quite conservative, so I expected the worst. But it went surprisingly well and they respected it. I haven’t told them that I do drag though.

How did you discover drag?

I studied fashion in college and I’d always use drag as a point of reference. Back then, no one really knew what it was. I think it was my curiosity about the Harlem night scene that led me to it. From there, I slowly learned what drag was all about and what it would take to be one. It has been a haven for me to explore and embrace my feminine side.

Your artistic direction is quite notably dissimilar to others; a lot darker it seems. Why is that?

My drag is all about my costumes. I love the Renaissance era and the Elizabethan style that’s defined by strong shoulders and fierce looks. I want to portray that kind of powerful persona. My direction is a lot darker compared to the others because I pull a lot of inspiration from the subcultures of Berlin and France.

How do you put the costumes together?

I always start with a story. I would think about the character and what stories they might tell. From there, I’d take references from the performers or imagery that inspire me and I’d create something from the colours, fabrics...every little detail matters. It’s an amalgamation of my favourite things.

Should drag be seen as an indication of sexuality?

Those two aren’t necessarily related. Well, you could use drag as a medium to talk about your sexuality but to me, drag is an art form. It is more of a performance, artistry. Everyone can do it regardless of their sexuality and gender identity.

So you don’t mind that the drag culture is becoming more and more mainstream?

No, it doesn’t concern me at all. Drag is not just for me. We don’t own this. It’s for all of us. It is an art form just like painting. Everyone can do it. I think it’s awesome that it’s reaching more people.

Seeing that LGBT community is still not recognised in Malaysia, how do you suppose we change that?

Truthfully, Malaysia would never turn into a country that I’ve always dreamed of. I don’t expect much. But what we are trying to fight for here is the government to recognise our existence as a part of the society. On the bright side, I realise that LGBT acceptance among Malaysians is growing and that’s a progress.