Interview: Amylea Azizan on the reality of reality TV
As it turns out, it takes more than talent to menuju puncak – iykyk.
Amylea Azizan (@amyleaazizan) was always going to find her way into the music industry. Born in a musical family, the eldest of three siblings came out just as the country welcomed its first reality television show ever — a singing competition that would launch the careers of many aspiring talents.
The then-18-year-old did well. She came in third. But her road to the finale was rocky, to put it mildly. Her introverted and opinionated nature rubbed those around her the wrong way, leaving her entangled in a narrative that she had no control over.
Did the show actually prepare you for the industry?
I guess the best thing about it is that it allowed me to perform on a big stage in front of a massive audience. That kind of boosted my confidence and made sure that I was ready for that.
But to be honest, it was not at all a fast lane into the industry. When I left the competition, I was really overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do.
Is reality TV real or is it scripted?
It’s mostly scripted. I mean, they cannot make you do things but they can initiate something and wait for your reaction. There’s also the manipulation of the camera and how the footage is edited. I was kind of stubborn in my own way. I wouldn’t do things that I didn’t want to.
That’s probably what made some of the contestants feel like I wasn’t playing the game. Like, I wouldn’t come up with a catchphrase for myself before every concert like they all did. It’s just cheesy and it made me uncomfortable.
Did the show cause a distortion of image?
The labelling and how people saw me in the competition definitely had an impact in my life especially because there was no social media so I couldn’t stand up for myself. I remember that they would purposely make me look uglier so that they could “transform” me.
They put me in looks that I didn’t want and they cut my hair short towards the end—only to put me in a hideous wig the week after. I was practically begging to not wear it because it was heavy and I had to perform a dance number but I was scolded really badly, just minutes before going live.
Were they also responsible for that infamous confrontation clip?
Yes, the production actually asked the other contestants if they had a problem with me and they of course said yes because they thought I was a show-off for always taking initiative in class. So one day, they sat me down and started bashing me, telling me how they hated me, one person at a time.
After that, I got myself into the bathroom—the only place we’re allowed to turn our mics off—and started crying. Who wouldn’t? But they dragged me out and insisted that I cry outside, in front of the camera.
It felt like you went silent not long after the show ended. Why was that?
After getting into the industry, I learned that I am not the kind of person who would just do anything for fame. I don’t want to be “involved” with certain people, I don’t drink or smoke and I don’t party at all. So it’s hard for me to make connections.
Some people are really good at marketing themselves. I’m not, at least I wasn’t. So I started producing music for myself and other artistes as well and I have been working behind the scenes, which have earned me the trust and respect from my peers.
What can your fans expect from you next?
I have a lot of songs in the can but I don’t know exactly when the label is going release them. Other than that, I will star in a horror-comedy Hantu Malam Pesta by Aziz M. Osman.
The story follows a group of homeless people who are kicked out of the shelter, and forced to move into another house that is haunted. I play the character of Mariam who can communicate with the spirits and control them.
Photography & Words: Nikita Nawawi
Styling: Amelia Tan
